This place has come under scrutiny of late, something that happens from time to time, but I really didn’t expect it so quickly. I spent many years learning to become a horseshoer my whole childhood. Once I reached about 22 I decided to pursue a career in movies and writing, which lead to writing and imagining. Somehow, the scene I imagine, I suddenly found myself pursuing a career in drug use and that really skewed things for a couple of years.
I can’t say that the experience, of intensive drug use, was the worst thing, because I don’t know if I would see things the way I do at this moment in time. If I hadn’t been huddled in the doorways of skyscrapers taking shelter from the rain and predators with meth blazen eyes, who knows what would have become of me.
I discovered many moons ago, for me, that drugs were bad bad on a regular basis. Let me define regular, more than once every two years, that is too much. For me drugs do not assist in the creation process, as far as the tangible.
When I came out of my drug induced zombie state, my urge to create was unstoppable. I was eating again, I had a computer, and I was on a ranch so far up a river no one would ever disturb me. Out came, like a scream, Passion of the AntiChrist. That is the best way for me to describe it.
You have to know, back on the street, although I was using drugs, the questions and analyzing didn’t stop. The only sense I had while wandering the streets was recorded in fits and starts on two different note books that I lost to thievery. If anyone has those. Anyone? The black journals would have been found on the streets of Portland, or found on the body of some vagabond vagrant, they are cursed, and you must return them to me. 😉
Although I was bangin dope, I was paying attention, and I was taking notes, drawing pictures of my adventures. Reality says, the two volumes, they are probably tweeker scratch, all blurred ink on swollen browned water filled pages in a ditch. So I will never get them back. Passion of the AntiChrist was my attempt to record those lines of thinking that seemed so real when I was high on the streets. Almost safe to say that I was a bit high while writing the book, although I hadn’t touched drugs. I had just done so many drugs that I was honestly still recovering years later from the physical damage to my nervous system.
So the big question is, would I write, Passion of the AntiChrist, again? Why did I create the AntiChrist Church? Why do I continue to post on the domain http://www.churchoftheantichrist.com? Well because I built it. After I finished the story, I went directly into promotion mode.
I created an entire internet persona based on the main character of the book. This persona I maintain, because who knows one day when I am as old as George R. R. Martin, Hollywood’s eye may fall on my story. Hollywood may wish to make a movie of Passion of the AntiChrist.
Here I will sit, with the copyrights and the domains pertaining to pretty much everything in my novel. Needless to say I will be in a great bargaining, position. Also it may shock some of you to know I am still building. When I finally master php, the AntiChrist Church website i will build, are going to blow your fucking mind.
I will state it simply, I do not believe in serving ‘ideas’ that cause death. I do not believe in killing for Allah, Jesus, God, Freedom or Justice. I believe in killing for survival. I do not believe in the Laws which have made it ok and legal to preemptively kill. Kill for self-defense, because if you kill preemptively you may be killing a man who has just forgiven you. If you kill preemptively you cannot look the man in the eyes and speak. If he tries to kill you at the meeting, then kill for self-defense.
My book, in all of its insanity conveys the above message. Don’t serve anything that asks you to kill. We humans are so vain, and we think our ideas are worth killing over. A million Bibles is not worth one man, woman or child. The same for the Koran, Tora and the Upanishads. These books are not worth more than life. These books are not evil in themselves, it is what humans do with the ideas it puts in their minds. It is the vanity of humans that turns these books into books of death.
Passion of the AntiChrist promotes peace and life. There is nothing wrong with that.